Oily Lips

So a few nights ago, I showered, brushed my teeth, and decided to put on some chapstick before sleeping because my lips felt dry.

In the morning, my mom came into my room to talk to me. Yes, I am 22 and living at home. It's nice to get free food and laundry service. Just kidding, I love my mom, but the free food and laundry service are definitely perks.

Anyway, here is our conversation, but imagine my mom saying all of this in Mandarin:

Mom: Wake up, it's already 10, stop wasting your day.
Me: *mumble* Oh OK, I'm getting up.
Mom: You didn't brush your teeth last night did you? Your lips are all oily from dinner still.
Me: ...

I guess my mom really thinks that she raised a slob. For those of you that know me, I probably use 5 times the amount of napkins/tissue than the average person. Sorry Amazon rainforest, but I gots to stay clean.

Bathroom Design Pt. 2

Remember this?

Now look at this -

How awkward would that be?

Ninja Sighting

June 25, 2008

BARNEGAT, N.J.—It's the case of the nonexistent ninja. Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.